Stubborn Artist

So, what I've always said I've wanted to do with my live would involve art. I want to make art for a living in some form. Lately I have been thinking about how this choice could pan out, and I'm finding a few snags in the plan:



* When it comes to the things I draw, I want things how I want them. An idea plants itself in my head and I don't want it messed with. Watching my original idea be altered, even as simply as a change of colors, will drive me mad. I could see ripping an editors head off or being a horrible pain in the ass when doing a collaborative work.

I'm finding this already as I try to work with Bill for his EP cover artwork. I gave him the art in pieces, and he pieced it all together.....wrong! Well in my opinion. Heh, the colors were wrong as was the arrangement....in my mind. Because I saw in my head what I would have done. Knowing I had given this over and creative control no longer belonged to me drove me mad. Literally. I threw a box of klenex across the room in frustration. I'm so sick of looking at it, I am burnt out on the idea completely. But I will finish it. It will be fine in the end.


*I draw. That's my main source of artwork. But I don't draw portraits, I draw cartoons. And these are very distinctly my own. And I have to wonder if my style and my medium really have a place in the world of computers. It seems almost every art degree is based in computer graphics. I long for the day when classic animation was dominant. Because that is what I wanted to do when I was little, be a animator. Frame by frame. But that doesn't really have a market anymore. I am versed mainly in a style consisting only of pencil and ink. Is there a place for what I do anymore?

Just a couple of things I think about lately. My ability to draw is important to me. It's the only thing I believe I can do well. And everything I make is very much a part of me. If I suddenly lost my ability to pick up a pen I know I would completely shut down. When it comes down to it, I do this for me. If people like what I do, wonderful. But I don't make things to make people like them, it's in all honestly not done for them. It's Cathartic, for me. Don't get me wrong, I love when people like what I do. I like hearing feedback. I'd love to share my work with everyone, but I can't compromise. I'm a stubborn artist, I won't change how I am or what I create, I guess I have to find a way to work with that......


Taking a break from the EP art (because I need to for a bit so I can finish it later) I made this real quick.: I swear I didn't realize until I was done that I made here shirt look like the Swedish flag. Ha!